Thursday, January 13, 2011

Worse Than Wal-Mart?

Worse than Wal-mart? 

/begin rant 

How about the gym during January… I actually asked the trainers at the gym yesterday if it was February yet. Listen, I’m all about people getting in shape, I am. However, I’m not about people only keeping it up for a month and during that month, making an inconvenience for the rest of us. Let me set the stage… I belong to a “Y” (Note: For those who are unaware, it’s not longer the YMCA, it’s just the ‘Y’) in the bottom of my building. It’s a small gym, but it’s good for people who want to work out right before work, during lunch, and right after work. It has a spin room, and then two studios, one for pilates/yoga, the other is for everything else. Since it’s been open it has slowly grown in membership, which is a great thing, some of the equipment has already been upgraded due to the increase use. Now, mind you, this is a pretty basic gym. It has Treadmills, Elliptical Machines, Exercise Bikes, and EFX machines. Then a pretty tiny area for free weights. Well, what do all these ‘resolution-ers’ want to do? Cardio. So that’s fine, but here are some tips: 

1. The girl with the ipad, please stop watching movies, walking at a 2.0 pace when you are a twenty-something, isn’t going to do anything, but make everyone else angry for utilizing a treadmill. At least walk on an incline. Also, how can you work out to watching romantic movies? 
2. The machines don’t wash themselves, they are not self services, so please, PLEASE wipe down your equipment. I’ve watched most of you work out, you don’t work out hard enough to not be able to put spray on a paper towel and wipe down your germs. 
3. To the people that have been on the EFX machine beside me – I’ve been working out for over 3 years consistently, please don’t try to keep up with me. It’s not going to happen. If you think by starring at me, you will catch my attention, you are wrong, you just push me that much harder (faster). 
4. Ladies – don’t force your boyfriend/husband to work out with you on a cardio machine. He obviously doesn’t want to be on a ‘girly’ machine. Let him go lift weights & not take up use of such limited equipment. Conversations about your evening & your in-laws & your life dreams are better kept out of the gym. 
5. If you walk at a pace of 2.0 mph for 30 minutes, don’t act like you just ran a marathon, when a regular (people who have been at the gym longer then a month) just ran 5 miles in less than 45 minutes and doesn’t even seem outta breath. The loud sigh to indicate you just worked really hard is also not necessary. 
6. I am all about workout partners, but leave the girly girliness out of it. The gym is not the place to giggle. It’s a place of work. Giggling just makes you look out of place. 
7. I wear the Vibram 5-fingers to work out in, please don’t’ ask me if they were comfortable. If they weren’t comfortable I wouldn't wear them to run/lift in everyday? Think about it. I would be more than happy to talk to you about them, but not while I’m in the midst of my cardio… or while I’m lifting. 
8. Starring at people, new or old, is creepy. Stop that. 
9. I know it’s tempting to copy the lifts of some of us, however, we know the correct way of performing the motion. Don’t copy us. It’s for your own safety and refer to number 8. 

10. If you take a class, make sure that it fits your level, when the class says 'Advance' it doesn't mean you've taken the beginner class twice.11. Please stop walking around like you own the place and you’ve been there for years. Most people identify you as a newbie and you look ridiculous and embarrass yourself. 
12. Locker room. The people that work out there, all know it’s small… However, just because it’s small does not mean that I want to talk to you while you are a. naked, b. drying off, or c. dressing. So please don’t make smart remarks because I don’t want to talk to you while in these situations. 
13. Just because you were under armor does not automatically mean you are ‘fit’ or losing weight… it also doesn’t make you look tough. 
14. Wear flip-flops to shower. I can't even imagine the amount of nastiness on the floor.

15. If you sweat enough to soak your clothes, please take a shower. For the sake of your co-workers. Please. 

I heard the best thing from a co-worker last week. Wouldn't it be great if they had gyms like they have Halloween costumes stores for the month of January? Think about it. 


I’m really not mean, I really am helpful to those who are truly are on a getting fit journey. I’ve been there, I get it. I just don’t enjoy having the people who are coming to the gym just to say they are coming to the gym. I’ll be nicer in February… When you are in doubt of the culture within the gym… Just follow what the regulars are doing and you’ll be fine. It’ll be easy to spot them out. They will be the ones who are using the gym for its purpose & are getting something out of it. 

/end rant

3 comments:

Janetha said...

hahaha holy crud, i have tears in my eyes. i loved this rant list and could not agree more!

Lindsey said...

Right on sister!:) I kind of avoid the gym in January and play outside even when it's pouring and freezing! Today I probably should have just put up with the meat market (you know the girls with makeup on working out trying to get a date!) and gone into my 24 hour....I'm still warming up!

Lindsey said...
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