Thursday, December 22, 2011

Sad truth in life...

**Warning – this has nothing to do with Christmas and the Holiday’s and might turn out to be down right depressing. You have been warned**

There’s a Mat Kearney song that says ‘We are all just one phone call from our knees.’ If you have ever gotten a phone call like that you will understand… if not, be thankful you’ve never gotten one. Tuesday night was a horrible night. I first received yet another phone call from my best friend whose family is going through one of the hardest experiences in their life. All I can say is that the whole situation has put my life and my problems into perspective. Then later that night, I got a phone call from my Mom. It stopped me in my tracks. A man I grew up with, I’ve known him for what feels like forever, had lost his battle with cancer. He was 26. He was diagnosed in September with 2 of the rarest forms of Lung Cancer. He wasn’t a smoker. He, get this, actually completed a marathon (no I didn’t stumble, marathon) in May. This kid played soccer (same sport as me) and his family grew up around the soccer fields, as did I. I spent many summers referring with him, playing against him, just being kids together who loved a sport.

We were connected via Facebook, like almost everyone these days… and I remember a few years ago… He started to take running seriously. He would post up ‘8:30 mile not where I want to be.’ He would post about his speed workouts. He’d talk about how he was feeling. He would update quiet often about how many miles he completed and the pace he kept. To say that this didn’t inspire me to get off the couch would be a lie. If he could do it, I certainly could as well. So that began my journey with running. He was a dedicated runner, for sure. I always that it was easier for him, because his legs were twice the length of mine. He was in ridiculous shape. He was taking charge of his health. To get a call from my Mom in September telling me that he had cancer was such a shock.

Whenever I get stunning news, it always makes me reflect on my life and my choices. The past few years, I can honestly say that I’ve been living more from intention and less from habit than I ever have. I do catch myself sometimes falling back into my old habits, but I do my best to actually live my life. I’ve said ‘Yes’ to things I never would have had I not changed my mindset. The funny thing, I haven’t regretted ever saying ‘Yes,’ but I have regretted saying ‘No’ so many times. I proud of myself for this. I am truly happy with my life. I know my choices in the beginning were a little bit rocky, but at the end of the day, without those choices I would have been able to make the decisions today. I’m so lucky to live my life the way I’m living it. This is just a small reminder to live my life not only because I want to, but because so many other didn’t get the chance.

Last night as I made plans with my friend to go to the Funeral home, it hit me, that at this Funeral Home alone, I will have said good bye to three other friends at this very same location. He will be my fourth. This will be the 6th death of a friend close to my age. 6th. That number astounds me. I can remember the first funeral I went to like it was yesterday for a classmate. It was the summer between 3rd and 4th grade. I remember laying in bed and hearing my mom talking to someone saying ‘ I think Sarah knows the boy Justan that died.’ I remember laying in bed and thinking, ‘ Justan couldn’t have died. It has to be someone else. Justan is my age. Justan is my friend.’ I remember going to the funeral home and sobbing over his casket and thinking ‘This is so wrong. He’s too young. He was so nice. He was my friend.’ Looking back, I can’t imagine how that much have felt to his mother. To have this young girl fall apart while saying goodbye to her son. Tonight, will likely be a repeat of that exact same moment. When I think about the boy I will be saying goodbye too, I just remember him always smiling.. ALWAYS smiling. He was a joy. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as carefree as him. He rarely ever didn’t have a smile on his face. He was a jokester. He enjoyed life. But, a life that was cut way to short. For the reasons, we will never know.

As I celebrate Christmas this year, I will be keeping his family in my thoughts. As I don’t even want to imagine the pain, the loss they are feeling. It’s just another reason to make me thankful for my life and the things I have been able to do, and the experiences I have been given. It solidifies my desire to truly live my life because so many will never have the opportunity to grow old. Probably the second most favorite movie quote of my life ‘This is your life and it’s ending it one minute at a time.’ Do. Not. Ever. Forget. That.

26. Full of life. This world we live in, such a crazy place. May his soul rest in peace.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays.

Take it easy.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Weekly Words To Inspire - Christmas Edition

I'm not sure if next week I'll have a post. I know, this one is already a day late.. What can I say? I had off and I spent the morning and my neices pre-school Christmas program. I tell you, there is nothing that gets you into the spirit faster than hearing young kids scream sing Christmas songs! I can't believe Christmas is this Sunday! Especially with our 50 degree temperatures. Crazy! I hope everyone has a safe and happy Christmas.

These are all 'Christmas Inspired.'

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. ~Bob Hope

When he dreamed of another world in another time in another place, where no man has to wear a sign saying where he’s from, saying what’s his race and he wants us to believe this world that he sees.
-Trans – Siberian Orchestra ‘ The World He Sees’

So this is Christmas and what have you done,
Another year over, a new one just begun.

So this is Christmas, I hope you have fun,
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fears.
-John Lennon ‘Happy Xmas’

Dear George, Remember no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings, Clarence
-It's a Wonderful Life

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
-Agnes M. Pharo

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

-Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Merry Christmas!

Take it easy.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Fantastic Friday

I know I've been missing Friday's, but this is too good.

It's no secret that I freakin' love Mat Kearney. I saw him live a few years ago, and the dude was AAMMAAZZZINNGGG.  I've been hooked ever since.

This video was made from searches via Google for 2011. So good.

Have a great weekend!

Take it easy!

Thursday, December 15, 2011


‘Sometimes you’ve just gotta look back at your past and smile at how far you’ve gotten.’

This has been an incredible week for me. Incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of myself. It’s not because it’s December 15 and I ran 4 miles outside in shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt (okay, it’s like 58 here – but still!). It’s not the fact that I’ve pushed myself with my work outs this week and was able to accomplish tasks I didn’t think were possible. Or the fact that I didn’t eat any sweets at my work Christmas party and only ate carrots and a small sandwich. It’s not because I came to work on Monday even though I was supposed to have it off. Nope. Something huge happened this week. HUGE in my life.

This picture says it all.

I know, you are thinking, ‘Dude, What the heck?’ So I’ll tell you. I finally, after sometime, sold my wedding rings. Boy was it not what I expected. Back in November I finally got the courage to see if I could sell my rings. I had heard of a site called ‘I do.. Now I don’t.’ (which I absolutely loved the title.) they are basically a middle-man for selling these types of items. I had considered Craigslist and ebay. But neither one of them appealed to me. Quiet honestly, I think I put my rings on this site HOPING that no one would buy them. Well, I was wrong. I had been working a boy for the past week or so on details about the rings and what not. Finally, the rings were sold… Then it hit me, I would never see these rings again. They are only rings, right? Pieces of metal with some diamonds in them. Just like fork bracelet, my class rings… but no. These rings. They meant something to me. At one point, they meant everything to me. I remember looking down at my engagement ring and just smiling knowing that my life was perfect. I was going to be loved for the rest of my life. I’d never be alone. My life, was planned. I was good with it. I. Was. Happy. I. Was. One. Of. The. Lucky. Ones. But they aren’t just rings. They were so much more. Now they are a sign of broken promises, broken heart, disappointment, loneliness, and a remembrance of the person who I became (which I hated that girl), and biggest of all, failure. I had such a mix of emotions. I remembered the day I got engaged, the day I got married.. but I also remembered the day, I stopped wearing the engagement ring because the words he promised me, his actions never backed up. Then the day I finally took the wedding band off, because every time I looked at it, brought so much pain back. As I received the e-mail that stated ’ Congratulations, your rings were sold!’ All I could think of was ‘Oh crap. This really just happened.’ Everything those rings stood for has long been gone, but those rings were the symbol of the life I thought I wanted. Then someone, a good friend told me. ‘Sarah, think about where you would be if you had continued that life.’ That was the moment when it hit me. When I realized, letting go of all the drama, the pain, was exactly what I needed to do,

So Wednesday morning, first thing, I went to the Post Office. I said ‘Goodbye’ to not only the rings, but to that part of my life. I finally have a feeling of peace with myself. The person I am today would have never existed if I would have stayed in that relationship.

People often ask me about that time. I’m not bitter, I’m not angry, because what I have learned through all of this is that the person that is standing here today, would have NEVER NEVER come to light had I not been in the situation I was in. As crappy as it all was, I would do it over again to get to where I am today.

I have never been so proud of me. I think all to often we focus on where we are going in life and sometimes forget to stop for a minute and look at how far we’ve come. It’s like on my run today, I was like ‘OMG, I still have at least a mile to go.’ Then I realize, ‘Yo, you’ve already run 3, you got this.’ I smiled. It’s okay to look back and see your progress, as long as you don’t live in the past. It’s a good reminder.

To top all of this off, with the sale of my rings, I should be out of my consumer debt by July. I’m still stunned that I’ve been able to do it on my own (and by on my own, I mean with the help of two incredible friends that have made me accountable for my spending). It will be my brand new start financially. I. Can’t. Wait.

So for today, it’s good to be. And I've never been so proud.

Take it easy.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Weekly Words To Inspire

I have no idea where time is going. I do realize Christmas is going to be here before we know it.
I hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit.

Enjoy your week!

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.
- Mother Teresa

Life, is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming.
-Myrna Loy

I thought this was a very interesting perspective.. especially with this time of year...
Now that I am ninety-five years old, looking back over the years.  I have seen many changes taking place, so many inventions have been made.  Things now go faster.  In olden times things were not so rushed.  I think people were more content, more satisfied with life than they are today.  You don't hear nearly as much laughter and shouting as you did in my day, and what was fun for us wouldn't be fun now... In this age I don't think people are as happy, they are worried.  They're too anxious to get ahead of their neighbors, they are striving and striving to get something better.  I do think in a way that they have too much now.  We did with much less.
- Grandma Moses

Here are the Christmas Quotes.... These are from the Polar Express. Thanks IMDB!
The Conductor: Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see. 
The Conductor: The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on. 

Hero Boy: At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe. 

Have a marvelous week!

Take it easy.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Weekly Words To Inspire

Ah December, we meet again.
I don't know about you, but I am for sure struggling with the thought that it's December and at least here... it's still in the 50's and 60's!

I was at a conference this morning, so these are a little late.. Enjoy!

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Never blame anyone in your Life.
Good people give you Happiness.
Bad people give you Experience.
Worst people give you Lessons.
And the Best people give you Memories. 

What if I told you 10 years from now your life would be exactly the same?
Doubt you'd be happy.
So, why are you afraid of change?
Karen Salmansohn

My favorite for the week:
Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are. 
Kristin Armstrong

Christmas quote
He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more! 

Take it easy.

Friday, December 2, 2011


..and no I'm not talking about the Bible here...

So I had quiet a revalation recently.

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months and things were going great.. then it went from great to really?  So for the past week or so I've been trying to get to the bottom of what was going on inside of his head, and I think I've got a good grasp. See he gave me some BS reasons and I called him out on it. He finally admits that it's because of my constant non-seriousness and sarcastic remarks. Really? So the only issue in our relationship is that. I think that's pretty darn good.  Especially coming from a relationship where we had so many things wrong between us that the only thing we agreed on was that we weren't right for each other.  I mean really? I find it quiet laughable... but this morning as I was thinking about things.. because I'm a huge over-thinker... I came to the revelation that it wasn't that I'm non-serious/sarcastic, it's the fact that I'm a pretty strong and independent woman who can take care of herself and doesn't 'need' a man.  What's interesting is that most men say that's what they want, but in reality, they don't know how to handle a woman who can take care of herself.  As I think back when I recently put plastic over my windows (to keep the cold out and the heat it) I did it by myself and I remember him being a little sad that I did it.  Well, it was something that I could do myself, so why would I need someone to help me?  I'm not trying to be a bra-burning femenist here. I'm just saying, I would rather spend quality time with you doing something fun than hanging plastic on my windows.

What I've realized the last couple years about myself is that I'm really good at taking care of myself.  I can do simple things around the house, I can do a few things with my car, I manage my money, and even find time to cook for myself! I realize that I can be intimidating because I don't 'need' a guy.  What they don't understand is, I don't need you to change the light bulb, but I need you when I'm having a bad day to make me laugh. I need the emotional support.  Just because I don't need you to do things for me doesn't mean I don't need you to be there.  I'm not going to change, nor will I apologize for being this way.  I like the fact that I can take care of myself. When the tough get going, I can go right along with it, because I know I can handle it. I woudl think a guy would like to know that when things get bad, he won't face it alone and that I'd be strong enough to carry him through.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this. And for those who know what I am talking about, you just want to look at these guys and be like, really? Get over yourself.  We are the type of women you want. We are the type of women that will let you live the life you want. Why? Because we are secure in ourselves. We can function on our own. We don't need to have you around 24/7.

So anyways.. that's my rant for today.  Anyone else have these issues? No what I'm talking about?

Take it easy.

P.S. I finally framed my Bing Crosby 'White Christmas' record... I'm posting that soon! I'm in love with it!